What are you focusing your attention on?

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

The world is abound with distraction and it’s only getting worse.

Technology is interlaced with AI, which is driven by research into human psychology, making it smarter at capturing our attention, maximizing their ability to distract, and ultimately influence us.

Then we’ve got the mental health implications of COVID-19 on all of us. No one is immune to that. So where we each choose to focus, what we want to pay attention to daily is critical to ensure we are not wasting our precious time. Rather, we should be focused on maximizing our joy and regeneration on the things that truly replenish us.

Be mindful and discerning in where, who and how you give away your attention.

Think about it. How much space do you have in your life? How much of it is filled with obligations you’ve accepted for others? What percentage do you give to yourself for pursuits that are just for you? Could you stand to make a little more space in your life just for you? Could less commitments mean more quality time to focus on your Vision for your life?

I asked myself these questions recently and discovered that my life was almost entirely filled with obligations, guilt and hardly any room to pursue my own passions, or time to rejuvenate.

One of my core values is to be of service to people – I love being helpful, creating value, offering support and transformation as a coach. Because of this, I felt obligated to serve my clients whenever they needed, whether it cut in to personal commitments or not. I would feel guilty if I wasn’t able to be available for them. It became that I was always putting everyone else first, and I was way at the bottom of the list. Or sometimes I never made it on the list at all.

Many of the folks I coach have similar challenges. They feel overwhelmed, have no time for themselves and feel so busy in their lives, they’ve lost their way. Do you find that any of what I’m talking about applies to you?

When I noticed how busyness had taken over, I devised what I call the “Mason Jar Exercise”. I needed to create space and reconnect with my Vision and Purpose.

The Mason Jar Exercise for Spaciousness, Choice and Resonance

• • Take a Mason Jar and fill it with gravel (or any other small rocks) in proportion to how full you feel your life is out of responsibility. It’s a great way to visualize the things taking up space in your life, I was at about 85%.n

• • Fill the remaining space with some of your favourite things n(e.g. mementoes, shells, etc.)n

• • As you stare at this now full or even over full jar, contemplate what you want for your life and write out your ‘stake’— the mantra or statement that propels you forward. For me it was, “With laughter and steadfast focus, I open the door to my new way!”n

• • Each day choose a stone to ‘throw back into nature’. In my case, I would declare my stake, open my front door and toss it into our forest. Then you must challenge yourself to let go of an obligation that’s out of line with your values, until the jar is empty save for your few favourite things.

For example: ‘Today I am ridding myself of the obligation to ___ and this is making room for me to embrace ___”.

Now you can begin a study of the space, the singular beauty and significance of the items that remain. Notice what you want more of and where the draw is to fill it back up again.

This was a powerful and transformative exercise for me. It took me about a month to complete. I noticed how full my life was in activity and distraction and that I felt I wasn’t making resonant choices. The result was a beautiful appreciation for my life and a deep acknowledgement of how I want to live. Less has become more. Stillness has expanded my perspectives. Now I feel like I can take on my next mountain.